Wednesday, October 23, 2013


I've been realising that school and classes have this uncanny ability to really kill your passions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting in my room all depressed with all the joy sapped from my life, but I am starting to see how doing something for credit and full time can ruin your enjoyment of it.  
I am an engineer.  I always have been ever since I was small.  I'd observe the world around me, see how it could be made better, break things that worked and fix things that were broken.  My mom loves telling me how as a six year old I told her how spoons make your reflection upside down because of the way your picture bounces off the angles (not bad for someone who can barely read!).  I'd read about nuclear plants, ethanol fuel and cloning.  I was truly interested in engineering.  I joined the science team in high school and would look forward to it every afternoon as a way to explore and go beyond the trivial material of a high school student.  My favourite memories of high school involve my team, and I'll never forget how proud I was to be on a nationally ranked team.
Me and my coach.  I still keep in touch with this wonderful woman.
 Without her I wouldn't be where I am today.
And then I got to MIT.  Engineering became my life.  I'd wake up to it, stay up all night working on it, and sometimes it even haunts my nightmares.  I used to jump at any opportunity to learn more, now I pine for a chance to give my mind a break.  I'll be frank, I hate school.  I'm counting the weeks until I graduate and I'm going to leave Cambridge and never look back.  Graduate school is absolutely not an option, I'm getting out of academia as fast as I can.  On that note though, I have nothing but good memories of MIT in terms of my personal life.  Classes are murder though.  I'd have killed in high school to be able to learn Transport Processes or Fluid Mechanics, and now I'm finding any way to take as few classes as possible.  This makes me a little sad that school somewhat killed my passion for engineering.
My nights now look like this
I'm starting to be ok with it though.  I know I'll love my work when I'm away from school (and making boatloads of cash won't hurt. As my dad used to say "money can't buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a limo than on a bike").
I've also found new passions.  I love writing this blog.  It means so much to me that so many people are interested in my ramblings.
I'm planning an amazing vacation as well.  You wouldn't think it could be time consuming enough to constitute a new passion, but trust me traveling abroad takes a fair amount of planning (especially when you're poor!).  I've also started taking more time to learn French.  I want to make it more than just my minor, and I've been taking time to read up on history, cinema, and other cultural things.  Reading websites in French has also definitely improved my skills, which is such a plus.
I've also decided to become more serious about sporting clays.  I've been taking practices more seriously and reading theory behind how to shoot well.  You'd be surprised what a mind game skeet is, but it's been satisfying to see improvement.
I'm slowly starting to find new passions while accepting that engineering is a job for me, not a lifestyle.

What are your passions?  How are you keeping sane in school? Let me know :)

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