Thursday, March 6, 2014

Wedding Belle Blues

I was planning a wedding that was supposed to be a year away and it was already becoming a major source of stress in my life.  It's no easy task planning  a wedding these days, especially if you have no religious traditions, a feuding family, and a very small budget.  I was starting at ground zero, looking for a venue, drafting a guest list, thinking about food and drink.  Before I even got to the band or DJ question, our wedding was going to cost over $10k.  Um, excuse me?  I feel rich whenever I find a $5 bill on the sidewalk. $10k?  I've never even conceived having so much money at one time, let alone spending it all on one thing.  It was so stressful, and got to the point where anytime anyone mentioned the wedding I got nauseous and started to shake.
Then I got to thinking; why?  What's the point of it?  Doug and I will get married, but why spend tens of thousands of dollars so people can eat mediocre food, get really drunk, and dance to music with relatives they barely like?  It just seemed stupid to me.  I live in Boston, none of my family does.  I could go to Syracuse, but none of my friends could come.  I could have an open bar with shitty food, or good food and limit the drinks.  Why the hell am I shelling out this cash for a day that holds little more meaning to me than the day "Thursday" does to you?
I mean, Doug and I will be 22.  We'll need to get a house, cars, food, furniture, day to day things.  It didn't make sense to me to start my life with Doug in debt.
So I decided not to.
My dear family and friends, I love you and you'll hear it here first, there will be no wedding.
I can't tell you what our future holds, where we'll be or what we'll be doing, but I can tell you that you're welcome to share it with us.  I'd rather you come see our new house, grab drinks, or go on a trip with us than pay lots of money on one night where we'll barely spend time with you.  Let's make dinner together or go to a concert.  Doesn't that sound better than listening to music off some guys ipod, eating chicken/fish/steak at a table with little place markers next to people you haven't talked to in years?
Our happiness doesn't need to be contained in one day, and I'd rather it not be.
I figured I'd let the news out sooner rather than later, and I hope you all understand our point of view.  The relief that swept over Doug and me with this decision is how we know it was the right one.  We have no disappointment with this and hope you don't either.
See you all soon.

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