Thursday, June 12, 2014

Reflecting on my time

About a week ago I realized that I'm seriously closing in on graduation.  I'm well over the halfway mark or MIT, and almost at the close of my degree.  This was the last semester I'd be "learning".  After this I'll be set for project labs and fulfilling my humanities requirements.  My last semester of formally learning engineering.  It's crazy to wrap my head around, as I've been in school longer than I can remember and yet I was getting seriously jealous watching my friends graduate
I've been taking some time to reflect on how far I've come and marvel at the fact that in three weeks I'll be done learning engineering and should be able to confidently call myself a chemical engineer.
It's a weird feeling, knowing I'm just playing a waiting game.  This time next year I'll be starting a real job and moving into my own place.
I'm not sure if it's because of that or something else, but I've been in a serious rut lately.  I haven't been blogging, my inbox is overflowing with unanswered emails, I don't read, crochet, I barely cook.  I can't really put my finger on what's been up.  Everyday I'm ready to leave work at 5 even though I'm coming home to basically nothing.  I just can't really seem to motivate myself to do much.
After my 5k I stopped running and after this semester finished I basically stopped doing everything.  I think my time here at MIT has made me a very goal oriented, project based person.  What happens when you don't have a goal?  When you have no deadlines, no exams, really no responsibilities.  I just feel lost.
I guess the reason I'm actually posting this is to let anyone else who feels this way to know I'm there too.  Also ever since I started blogging I never wanted to give the impression I'm perfect.  It really bothers me when people only post their ups, their perfect hair days and their triumphs.  That's not me.  I want you to know that my life is not easy or perfect, but nonetheless I am happy with it.
That's it.  I just wanted to explain my absence.
I'll be back more frequently soon, I promise.

No comments:

Post a Comment